New beginnings

new beginnings have something magical, something crazy exciting that's simply indescribable.
For people like me, who are looking at life as if it's either perfect or a complete mess, new beginnings  are both. A crazy adventure where I block out every little fault and the crazy fears that creep into my head when I lay down to sleep at night.
It feel as if I have waited for a person like this to come around my whole life,  it feels as if up to this point life only prepared me to be who I am right now to meet this one person everyone talks about.
But then those thoughts that I just wish I could stop running through my head ! What if he has not the same intentions, what if I'm being played while falling madly in love and what if this person because of exactly those thoughts, leaves me alone before it actually started. I am so scared at this very moment that I just wanna scream and cry and hit on the walls in this room. Sometimes it would come in quite handy to be able to read people's minds. What I'm truly scared of is that I'm falling for lies. I've been packed in sugar and I want to believe the words he says. Deep down in my heart I just feel as if I need to be aware just because I've heard otherwise, just because people have seen and talked about me the exact opposite of how he talks to me. He seems so good to me, he seems better to me than I am to myself and it scares me to death. I mean I'm writing this nonsense while trying to sleep. I'm freaking scared to lose him even though it didn't even start fully yet.