Weiß hat keinen negativen Zusammenhang, so ist sie die vollkommenste Farbe. Weiß symbolisiert: Licht, Glaube, das Ideale, das Gute, der Anfang, das Neue, Sauberkeit, Unschuld, Bescheidenheit, Wahrheit, die Neutralität, die Klugheit, die Wissenschaft, die Genauigkeit.
In unseren Breitengraden ist sich die Farbe Gelb nur relativ beliebt. Sie wird mit Neid, Verrat und Feigheit in Verbindung gebracht und nur selten zur Lieblingsfarbe erkoren. Dennoch ist Gelb eine warme Farbe, weil damit Begriffe wie Sonne und Licht assoziiert werden. Gelb steht aber ebenso für Wachheit, Kreativität und einen schnellen Verstand.
Being the only one in your friendgroup thats trying to live for Christ isn't always easy.
While your friends go to partys, you have to make a decision: Am I going with them and sin, am I going with them without consuming any kind of drugs or am I not going at all and instead try to find activities for the group that don't have to have any influence of illegal or in Christ's mind not neccessary substances?
The best compromise always seems to be to just go with them but don't drink because nobody wants to be the partypooper and even more important, nobody wants to be alone.
Additionally, we as Christians could be an example and be different from the crowd. Sounds good, doesn't it?!
Sadly, it sounds easier than it really is. Do we really want to be around all the things that God doesn't want us to be around and constantly fight the temptation? Are we even able to have fun with everyone being drunk around us? Are we not going to feel like an outsider?
I've heard from some people, that they are able to integrate in a group that drinks while they are not. They say they even have fun and not a hangover the next day, but I made a different experience trying that out.
At some point you just see, that you need to get used to those situations, that you need to become stronger with your faith before you are able to face the temptations or even have fun without being tempted at all.
What happened to me is that I started to exclude myself. I kept locking myself in the room and just lie down in my bed, trying to somehow get those thoughts out of my head.
'If God, my God, wants us to be of good cheer and have company and relationships, why does he not help me, give me the right words, the right spirit to be able to integrate myself ?' thats what I was wondering. I was starting doubt God, starting to think if my life would not be better without all those restrictions.
Restrictions, thats what I thought it was, I felt captured, trapped and not free in my faith.
At some point, it just clicked in my head. I noticed that I used to find it boring anyways to always do the same thing every weekend, over and over again. I felt like my life was supposed to be more creative. Didnt I always want to see the world? Was I not the person, that wanted to know as much about everything as possible? And with God, I could be all that, God shows me how he can turn my life around for my good. If I wanted to live the right way I had to be more creative than the rest, I had to look over the edge and see all those possibilities, find out more about the things I never knew about, There is so much to do here and I never saw that. God opened my eyes and let me see all those beautiful things, all the opportunities I had in this world.
I was so ashamed, knowing that I blamed the one that loved me even before I was on this planet, realizing that he only wanted to show me the person I could be, the chances I had, with him.
The moment we are saved, our chains are broken by Christ, we are a new creation and should not fall back into old patterns of behaviour. Thats a hard lesson to learn, its hard to change without any guidance but God's. And sometimes there are those moments when we want to give up, to stop trying. Its hard, its so hard but once we are in Christ, he will always pick us up. As long as he sees us trying, as long as he sees us fall but still get up!He'll stretch his hand out for us to hold on to it.
And to be completely honest, I am not there yet, I keep falling back into the claws of the devil, I keep falling back into depression. But my love for Christ never decreased. It keeps growing, getting stronger! With his help, I am slowly making my way back to life and I am more than thankful for that. I am able to socialize again and he showed me that the only one wanting to exclude myself would be the devil.
And until I reach the point, when I finally feel completely free and the devil let go of me, I will keep praying, I will get a step further each time and the depressions get shorter. And I know, once I reached that goal, once I am completely able to find my freedom with God, the blessings will come. God already gives me peace and is the only one to help me up again when I fall back, nobody else, no material thing from this world is able to give me the rest and comfort God gives. So, I keep looking forward to the freedom God promises me. To the blessings, the love, because there is no love like God's.
I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me (Phil 4:13)
