Today in english for a change!
Hello everyone,
This day really got the last of me, metally and physically, I haven't been this tired, exhausted and especially sad in a long long long time.
Not only did I run from doctor to doctor all day, just to find out that nobody really knows what the problem is or how to treat it, but I've also been majorly disappointed by someone who literally means the world to me.
His back and forth drives me nuts. Adding on to the health issues right now, the mental stress doesnt really help.
I always feel as if I've tried my best to make others happy. And in a situation like this, you really see who cares, who calls and who comes by to comfort you.
What's always shocking is, when that specific person who seems to care the most is not there, is not helping and is only trying to add on to the problem by looking for ways to argue and rob the last bit of energy that you still have.
You know there are always people who are not able to see when they are needed, but when you tell them, they will drop and cancel everything to help. And then there are people who know that they are needed, but if it doesn't fit their mood or schedule, they will act as if they don't notice.
It's been really rough for me, emotionally. It's just very hard to rely on someone, believe their words, think and trust that they really and truly care, and then they throw your feelings harshly right back in your face. Not even that, they throw your feelings on the floor and step on it, they might even set them on fire and spit in the flames.
At least that's how it feels right now. I feel misunderstood, belittled, laughed about and just not taken serious.
I know most of you guys, don't want to read this, most of you want to be uplifted and empowered, but this had to be written down.
I can definitely tell you this: if you have a person that is there for you no matter what happens, no matter if you had an argument the day before, or if the relationship between you two is unclear, if that person is able to step up, get over their pride, ignore and forget all harsh feelings for that moment and is just there, don't let them go! Ever ! They might be the most valuable person you will ever meet! !
By the way, fall has finally arrived and the leaves are all pretty and stuff ❤️🍂🍁🌾
