I met him, not really knowing what to think of him. He wore a hood and spoke with his face to the ground. Constantly was I asking myself why God put him in my life. Was it someone who just passes by? Was he supposed to be a life lesson? Someone that leaves after a few months? What I didnt know was, that he would be way more than that!
I had met him once but already texted him for weeks when the day came that I was supposed to fall head over heels. At that moment, everyone in my school was sick and somehow I caught it. I felt bad all day but still tried to make it through soccer practice with my friends. As time was passing, I felt worse and worse. I decided that I needed to go home, immediately! Normally I would hit up my hostparents, but I knew that they would be busy and had picked me up often during that time already. So I had two options, either call the guy that had always lied to me, who I was not allowed to see anymore or him, who I strangely felt close to already after meeting him once.
But who could guarantee that he was not like others, who would guarantee me, that he was not a criminal trying to get me in his car?
No, why would I even think of asking a stranger to pick me up and drive me home?
I still dont know why. But I did.
He was waiting in front of his dads car, which he had borrowed to come pick me up, since he didnt have gas in his own car. This time , he was a whole new person. He was standing straight up, not having his hood in his face. He was looking me in the eyes when he talked and opened the car door for me. He caught it too, the cold that was going around. His throat was so sore that he was not able to say one sentence without it escalating in several rounds of coughing. It was, when he smiled at me, trying not to cough, that I knew I could trust him. Desparately he was trying to talk to me, to have a conversation with me, finding out that his cold would not allow him to yet.
Further in time, when we were already dating, I remember how he would pick me up from school every second day to hang out with me at the park. He was different. He didnt ask me to go home with him. He didnt ask me to do things with him that were not appropriate. He just wanted to walk endless rounds at the park and eventually sit down with me.
Once he told me, when he approached me at the park, I was sitting in the sun, listening to music, how he would always feel romantic when he saw me. He said, how my hair flows in the wind and the way I smile, would make him feel as if he was in a movie.
The compliments he made were always out of the ordinary, in moments when I least expected it, but so pure and honest that I didnt have the chance but to continue this somewhat risky relationship.
Risky, because I was about to let all curtains fall and give myself completely to someone, who I was supposed to leave in three months again. Risky, because losing people was one of the things I experienced most in life, which didnt mean that I was neccesarily good at dealing with it.
He was not the guy that would try hard to take me out on dates, he was the guy, who wanted to hang out with me, watch Tv and just mess around. He was the guy, who carried me to the car, when I had blisters on my feet, from my new high heels, that I naively wore all day in school.
And he was the guy I felt more comfortable with than with anyone I had met in years. When I looked into his eyes, it always felt as if there was more than what he revealed to me. He always looked concerned, shy, worried, longing for something, he looked as if there was all this potential, caged by some unknown power, only waiting for me to discover it.
What I loved about him was that he was curious, wanted to try out everything. Once he had my camera in his hands, it was almost impossible to get it back. At least for the next hour. I learned very fast, that he was someone I could always rely on. His sensitive side started to unravel. Watching him drowning his sorrows in substances, which only made situations worse, was always a hard thing to deal with, but we all have a way to get rid of or try to suppress our worries. For me its eating sweets.
By the time I left Alabama, I would say, I didnt know him too good. I had a guess on who he could be and who he was, but felt really insecure about me leaving the states.
The last thing we promised each other was, that we would try. We didnt promise to try hard.
We wanted to see where this experiment takes us.
But who could guarantee that he was not like others, who would guarantee me, that he was not a criminal trying to get me in his car?
No, why would I even think of asking a stranger to pick me up and drive me home?
I still dont know why. But I did.
He was waiting in front of his dads car, which he had borrowed to come pick me up, since he didnt have gas in his own car. This time , he was a whole new person. He was standing straight up, not having his hood in his face. He was looking me in the eyes when he talked and opened the car door for me. He caught it too, the cold that was going around. His throat was so sore that he was not able to say one sentence without it escalating in several rounds of coughing. It was, when he smiled at me, trying not to cough, that I knew I could trust him. Desparately he was trying to talk to me, to have a conversation with me, finding out that his cold would not allow him to yet.
Further in time, when we were already dating, I remember how he would pick me up from school every second day to hang out with me at the park. He was different. He didnt ask me to go home with him. He didnt ask me to do things with him that were not appropriate. He just wanted to walk endless rounds at the park and eventually sit down with me.
Once he told me, when he approached me at the park, I was sitting in the sun, listening to music, how he would always feel romantic when he saw me. He said, how my hair flows in the wind and the way I smile, would make him feel as if he was in a movie.
The compliments he made were always out of the ordinary, in moments when I least expected it, but so pure and honest that I didnt have the chance but to continue this somewhat risky relationship.
Risky, because I was about to let all curtains fall and give myself completely to someone, who I was supposed to leave in three months again. Risky, because losing people was one of the things I experienced most in life, which didnt mean that I was neccesarily good at dealing with it.
He was not the guy that would try hard to take me out on dates, he was the guy, who wanted to hang out with me, watch Tv and just mess around. He was the guy, who carried me to the car, when I had blisters on my feet, from my new high heels, that I naively wore all day in school.
And he was the guy I felt more comfortable with than with anyone I had met in years. When I looked into his eyes, it always felt as if there was more than what he revealed to me. He always looked concerned, shy, worried, longing for something, he looked as if there was all this potential, caged by some unknown power, only waiting for me to discover it.
What I loved about him was that he was curious, wanted to try out everything. Once he had my camera in his hands, it was almost impossible to get it back. At least for the next hour. I learned very fast, that he was someone I could always rely on. His sensitive side started to unravel. Watching him drowning his sorrows in substances, which only made situations worse, was always a hard thing to deal with, but we all have a way to get rid of or try to suppress our worries. For me its eating sweets.
By the time I left Alabama, I would say, I didnt know him too good. I had a guess on who he could be and who he was, but felt really insecure about me leaving the states.
The last thing we promised each other was, that we would try. We didnt promise to try hard.
We wanted to see where this experiment takes us.
Keine Kommentare:
Kommentar veröffentlichen