New beginnings 1.4

Ever since you've entered my life it's been heaven and hell. I know you don't notice but every move you make influences me. Either it feeds or takes away my doubts. Either you get up my hopes or you make me lose hope in life. 

Ever since you've been there, I've been almost as high as the stars or not being able to move. You truly spin my head round and round and make me dizzy. 

One minute I believe you want me, then a minute later I completely rethink everything and wonder if I can even trust you. What do you want ? What do I want ? Where is this taking me ?

A lot is new for me. Just having someone here so close to me is crazy new ! Not talking to that person 24/7 because you can see them like every second day is even crazier for me. I'm scared of losing and scared of failure. I'm scared of feelings and scared to be alone as well !

Ive been feeling like a crazy person lately because I seem to be way more unorganized and confused than I've ever been ! The last person who stuck by my side was so predictable, so easy to manipulate and so dependent. I don't even know what it's like to have someone that's just 'normal' I guess.